Update - 1

     It's your beloved Maid reaching out, I haven't posted in a second and I'm probably not going to till tuesday-ish~, not any reason negative, or tons....Not sure a lots happened and I've been sleep deprived this whole week unable to catch a fucking break physically or emotionally. AAll my personal advancements to be an aspiring loser are kinda on pause, I'm in that "Existing makes me wanna vomit, masturbate four times a day to try and ignore the bad thoughts, drinking doesn't even help" kinda beat depression, which I haven't been in for a second I mean..I think I'm dying not in the literal sense, just all my pieces are scattered and aren't fitting back into their proper homes.

[Also snowy just out of context "I'm gonna make you smell like my feet" which would almost be hot if she'd WASH BETWEEN HER TOES anyways back to Sanza being a sad fuck {cuz I like a quick fuck}] 

BEfore I write like a proper blog posts I just need to figure out what the like..current genre of the show is, what character archetype am I trying to be type-casted into and bullshit like that. Everyone feels so distant and cunfuzzled but like outside of Kit, everyone's got their life sorted and is in a better place than when I found them and I'm gonna be fucking mad about that? "How dare you escape the trenches and enjoy life while I'm unable to partially because of my own issues" See? Fuckin retarded. Fucking love brothel sim games tho, think I've said that before but yeah what I've been killing time on and Warframe with some i think...French Tranny who won't shut the fuck up about wanting to see my gock, she's aight tho just got that selfish autism [Which is annoying, you know the brand im talking about poor socialization + Hyper-Fxation autism means its either their feelings/interests or they can't even pretend to care about whatever you like no matter how much you clearly enjoy it and I snapped at them a few times now but they don't got a lot of friends and I don't dislike them so I keep hanging with them...I know its a bit ableist but I really can't handle people that get overwhelmed not in a mean way, I do think that up to a degree they are valid and need space/mental tools, the full 2 and a half yards however I am tired of constantly having to overturn everything, constantly to accommodate their own defeciences while I admit this next part is selfish I must be responsible for all my actions, emotions growth and recovery so...a little of it is from a hateful envy most of it is from emotional exhaust and wanting them to learn to fucking advocate for themselves. 

    Yeah, I already said it earlier but I can't feel a single one of my thoughts, weird dreams lately though, a lot of them have been...other me's? Which hasn't made me jealous or anything because outside of a few core traits [that even then are apparently flexible] they're so different they might as welll be different people, I think its just omedic of crossroads, my last reading I got from Lucky said I'd have to soon make un fun choices....so looking forward to that, [Many have tried, few have have succeeded MHTFHS] {I say that anytime some says fuck you, primarily Snowball] but just feeling crossroady, not the fun kind just like choose your path into the abyss also I gotta learn to swear in russian because my vocab and cadence has a lot of incendiary language so I'll honestly have an easiert time talking in another language if I don't feel like the localization team sanitized the hell outta my sub and dubs.

Might update this more, but for now just tryna get back into one piece.

Everchangingly yours,   [Disks 2] Sanzabooku the Maid

Oh yeah, Loch is making me a fursona-mascot thing so expect that down the pipe~!