UPDATE - 0

Now that ALT's have been repurposed updates will be used for inbetween major posts, tomorrow i'm back on the horse for all projects [Programming, Gym, Guitar..god I actually miss all these just the spiral than sick] I mean I'm not CURED but waiting for perfection means giving up a lot of time to get my wants met. Additionally tryna help Ember actually start E, we'll see how that goes. Understandably they're hesitant because the political environment but we're damned either way so might as well live candidly, atleast when the bullet hits there's a few less regrets ya know? I've been having to think about that a lot lately, won't lie drives me to screaming tears but my philosophy of gotta live like you mean it cuz you might get capped tomorrow is a lil too real now. My brother isn't talking to me right now, guess dating apps embarrassed him which is good in a way but I get its not fun to realize where you stand with strangers and the parts of you that need polishing [heh]. Uh, we'll call em Seraph at my work is just another stray dog loser with no friends so accidentally making a gaggle to hang with but thats how it goes right, never how we intend it but nevertheless how we're meant to be around folks. I think me and Snowy are getting along a lot better, ironic to a week ago [guess thats how BPD goes] this is the calmest...kinda my dragons have felt in a second, they're still there, I still angry cry when i remember I have a father till I drink but it feels like they shed and matured as well, like the last piece of adolescence [in a good way, I know its annoying when the author doesn't trust the audience] has slipped off. Time's ticking till I see Charlotte again [even made them a friendship bracelet today, and one for Snowy...don't think shes a fan of it lul I admit it I bias'd the fuck outta it and its way more my color scheme] and for the first time I don't feel so nervous about them, guess like the dumbass she is she didn't realize how complicated my feelings were cuz of all the mixed blood of our past but actually talking about them helped..I'm excited to see her again, not so excited to know I'm gonna be prying her off my tits and ass for a decent portion once the alcohol starts running...but thats it aint it, being a stray dog that incomprehensible love, filthy, dented a lil rust but truer than any other, that kinda love that only comes from being ugly with eachother and knowing what you wouldn't want the rest of the world to know. Maybe I'm just on my period ;P. [So much for update this bitch is huge], no news on lucky, same with the roundtable as ever, oh guess my profile has garnered some EXTRA attention now got random furry artist tryna hound me for comms, little do they know I'm flat fucking broke bitch. Well my beloved void I think thats all for now, sadly I'm hardly a content mill between the "Exciting" episodes oh! Been tryna get Snowy to like...engage with life more, she's taken up watercoloring and journaling which copycat nah I tease, I think its good for her. 

    This is your beloved Patron Saint of the Stray Dog/Losers, Sanzabooku the Maid
            Always just a thought away, my voidlings ;P