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    So, not enough really happens in my day-to-day life to write a several paragraph blog daily post EVERY-TIME so I've decided I'll start just doing some random creative writing for the "Down" days so I'll first catch ya up and then I'll write the creative prompt. So as for today my Starling god a job!! She ahd one but it was inconsistent hours and because of the amount of driving she had to do sometimes we'd lose money if the shift got cancelled and she was already driving @^@ [See, it replaced an exclamation mark just fine there, more research needed.] so I'm super excited plus its some italian cafe dealio which seems cool, I'm glad to see her grow when we first got together she lied and got fired because she just didn't have the ingenuity to work, now she's slowly gaining ideals and ambitions which I'm proud of, I honestly don't think I'm her forever but I'm glad I could be part of her journey and know her, so today was cooking her bento lunch box which is a daily ritual I've undertaken and its been..nice, ngl watching a video on the philosphy of B.S. while cooking rice and chicken with an apron is the most domesticated I've ever felt, oh how the queen of debauchery has fallen~ A lifetime ago I would've been breaking beer bottles with a baseball bat in the park while downing a fifth and now here I am keeping up on domestic chores, don't hate it I think my ideal life now would be a mix of both worlds. I think I might be ill, part of the content drought is that I've just been EEPING the last two days like two days ago I just slept 12 hours so that was a total wash of a day and today I slept a lil less I think 9 but still a bit, more than I'd like had a terrifying dream normally in my dreams I can't really die, I can get shot, stabbed, maimed and pulled apart usually my jaws and fingers severed but its.."metaphorical" damage I don't die in the process just get worsened however Poison, that'll be my killer ever since I was a child dreams of Poison [especially scorpions] have led to my death, the dreading sense of helplessness as my body slowly shuts down. thoughts becoming more sparse but this higher concious knowledge thats not comforting but a reason to try and fight to survive, moves getting sluggish, harder to hold myself up, veins bulging and darkening, losing the ability to speak, ask for help, draw attention to myself as even when I bang against things or throw things it too weak to draw attention, genuinely one of my biggest fears.

Side note; We can't help ourselves can we, in my last two relationships I didn't really mean to get into a dedicated relationship I rather be free and be honest..kinda fucking around but I get these country girls who are lost and hopeless and end up taking them in, guess I got a type much to my dismay. It even haunts my hentai games I accidently ended up dating the country girl and I don't have the heart to break up/cheat on this bunch of pixels T^T so guess that ends that run GG. 

    As for the rest of the week its mostly domestic, practice guitar, clean, play some games, watch some shows, chill with Starling and go to work while boring I don't feel the most suffocating the learning to cook and play guitar is helping me feel like time is real again and I'm spending it correctly, this weekend is fet night with Puppy Paladin's new BF, which honestly I like the guy evven though I havent met them they've heavily improved PP's [they hate thats how it gets shortened] perspective and attitude on life even though I think they are both fools and rushing far to quickly with not enough evidence to their dynamic..
            ..I hope the work, which is strange for me. Also I need to learn how to format my posts more dRAMATicallY I'll be working on that sometimes I feel so old oh I need an additional AUX cord for the pedal and a power line but I'm that much closer to making my kinda music and I'm genuinely excited. No movie reviews today, I vibe with the MAsterful Cat a lot um..so I don't like to pad I like to talk with intent and sincerity so I think I'll wrap up for now and just do my creative writing prompt which is 100% homegrown schizoid writing, no AI-slop up in this bitch and thats a certified cat promise.!

    Sincerely yours, Sanzabooku the Maid.